I should be working right now. I have one last project to tie up before my new baby arrives. My anxiety has not quite completely returned. I know she is close because I am starting to feel a little anxious again. Pregnant me is great. I feel 0 anxiety. Anyway, I only worked for a little bit tonight and now I am obviously writing this article.
Sex is amazing and fabulous and soul awakening and I could go on and on all day about the topic. I want to focus on sex that brings children Earthside, as that is the boat I am in currently. Pregnancy flies by. This one I will not miss at all. My first two were perfect and I felt completely like myself. This one I was so exhausted all the time after month 1. I kept waiting for the exhaustion to leave, but it never did.
My partner is great and truly has been doing the best he possibly can to do all the things I normally do. Let me tell you, he is not me. He tries and I appreciate that. 7 out of 10 these past few months for house stuff and meals. It could have been a little better, but it could have been a lot worse. 3 out of 10 for taking care of me emotionally and spending time with me.
Let me tell you, do NOT under any circumstance make a life change if your wife is pregnant or in the first year after the baby is born. Husbands, hear me on that one. If you can push out whatever drastic item, then push it out until she has went through her pregnancy, given birth, and had a year to heal. Trust me on this one. He is a nice person and means so well, but his lack of planning and his unwillingness to be patient sometimes is a huge problem for him. He is my life partner and his problems quickly become a problem for me too. I am slowly moving on from him changing jobs, but it was quite stressful on me.
Breaking the News
Kyle was so excited to tell people we were expecting. He quickly found that people are rude (sometimes not intentional). I believe people just say whatever actually pops into their minds and sometimes it is what their thoughts are within their mindset and life. One of his work buddies said I guess you will need more hours and a full truck. Another one remembered he “took off a lot of time when the second baby came, oh and the first.” Another one said, I guess we will get another invite to another birthday party (He was taken off my invite list, so no tf he will not) and then followed up with well you have the girl so I guess it is the last. On and on it went. Now, half way through of him sharing his good news, his one work friend said oh that is great. I am so happy for you and Heidi. Jake: I am still trying to name the baby after you since you were one of the only kind and sweet ones. I’m trying buddy. I’ll let you know how it goes.
I told 3 people. My 3 close friends. Then I was done. One was shocked. I mean how shocking. I am pregnant with my third child by my partner of over a decade, who I also have two other children with, who I have all my investments with, and share my daily life with. Definitely shocking (sarcasm). One was super happy for me. He has two children and goes on vacation a lot with me and mine. The other friend did the OMG emoji and that was that. I really didn’t look too much into mine, but Kyle was kind of beside himself that people were not just plain happy for him. Okay, a lot. I told him for everyone that he feels is rude we will have another one. We are adding another 11 children guys. Kidding, but he did giggle.
My Dreams
Okay. I never dream except when I am pregnant. I wrote them down this time around. I wish I had done this for the first two children. They are below if you care to read them. I was mindful about what I went to bed thinking about because sometimes I would dream about whatever was on my mind. I didn’t write the dates, I should have.
NFTs. I bought one and 6 hours later I made $200k net from it. In the dream my boyfriend told me to buy a penguin NFT. I did not buy a peguin NFT in real life, just in case you are wondering. I do not invest in NFT’s. Maybe I will find a boyfriend and he will teach me about NFT’s.
I went to the waterpark with one of my Ex’s. He talked about his day, then left. Scam dream (I say this because I normally have such good sex related dreams about him and wake up all happy and think oh that was nice).
My soon-to-be middle child was drowning and I could not get to him.
Thanksgiving dinner and it was a disaster.
Celsius and Voyager hired me to audit their books and fix their bankruptcy problems. Side Note: If you had money in either of these exchanges then I am so sorry. Kyle and I had money in Voyager. It was pretty difficult for me to explain to Kyle how these exchanges work and how bankruptcy court can be a major joke.
I hired a sitter for my kids and me and Kyle installed a pool. Kyle went camping and built another cabin.
My hair appointment got canceled with my regular hair lady and the new one turned my hair red. My hair pulls red during the dying which is why I found my current one. She is excellent with color.
I dropped my sister’s kids off at school one day and her daughter told me the children there were bad. The next day my sister called me and told me one of the children died at school.
I went on a date with my ex (the sweet one). It was nice. No sexy stuff.
I met someone that was in love with two people at the same time and he hired me.
My old boss from over 10 years ago went and got tacos with me and told me about his girlfriend. He did have a girlfriend back when I knew him and a whole family.
China stole my oldest son.
Something- could not remember. When I woke up, there was a shadowy figure in my room.
My cousin got married. It was a small wedding, but he spent a lot of money. It was very detail oriented and extra nice.
Voyager hired me to audit and be the marketing person for them. Second time dreaming of Voyager. I’m telling you this investment fucked me up a little.
My sister and I were made into twin’s and there were two Heidi’s.
Nightmare (A past dog of me and Kyle’s) died and was going to Heaven. Then two days later he came back to life. Then died again later.
My Ex showed up at my house. He put my head in his lap and told me about his week while he played with my hair. I should hit him up, I would be cool with this. I love my hair played with and I’ll listen about his week at work. 2nd Scam dream if you are keeping track of this ex.
Kyle’s friends came over because their washer and dryer broke. I thought they were going to do their laundry here, but they brought the new set here, did laundry. They also brought all their kids stuff the own, like the bassinet, swing, etc.
Birthday party for my son. My Ex showed up with his family and did not talk to me. We did not have enough food. We also forgot to make a cake, so everyone was waiting on me to bake one. Scam 3.
Something about the dishes. My son woke me up this night and I vaguely remember the dishes.
I was driving and went down the wrong road. It felt very eerily. I turned around and left. The next morning I Googled and it was a mysterious road where people get kidnapped.
I went wedding dress shopping with my cousin and sister. We bought heels and then tried walking through the city of NY. Megan bought flats and was totally fine. She also made fun of us the entire time.
I went to Target with my sister and she bought nothing, but was following me around the whole time.
There was a bright spot light at my grandmother’s house. My sister and I had to drive slow to get there. An airplane had crashed near her house and the state employees were calling it an attack. Shadow in my room while my eyes were adjusting. Who tf is visiting me while I’m pregnant? My Papa or Kyle’s grandmother?
I was stuck in a place before you go to jail, they called it a holding place. My sister finally came and got me.
Went to a river float with my sister. She had found a large raft for all the kids and us. My Ex called halfway through and wanted me to meet him. We talked and then I left. Scam #4.
My cousin and her husband were going camping and wanted me to follow them. There was no gps or phone. We got lost.
Went on a double date with my Ex and some other couple he knew. Nobody did anything. Scam #5.
Kyle bought me three different beds and try out. I wanted to keep all of them so he built two extra rooms. This was a sweet dream and just like Kyle to do. He tries and gives his best to me. He prioritizes my happiness and puts in more effort than anyone I have met to ensure my happiness level is balanced.
I went antique shopping and we walked around at this convention forever. I was so tired when we got back to the car. I was with two people, but I didn’t know them.
I met a man and he loved me and the children. Only came to see me at night and would wait patiently for me to put the kids to bed. Where tf was Kyle (He does bedtime routine)? Then the man would go to work the next day.
I had to create a new bank account for Kyle so he could have one by himself. I used it to transfer money into my account.
A girl from high school invited me to her house. It was small and super lovely. We were good friends in the dream.
My son made playdough and he went viral online and I had to ship packages every day. This one is weird since Kyle does all my shipping or mailing.
My very good high school friend was going down on me while Kyle watched. She lived with us for a while and we would all sleep in our bed. We never did anything wild. We all just actually slept in one bed. Our other roommate was mindblown every time.
My Ex went to college with me and sat next to another girl. This is the Ex I did have jealously feelings over. My other friend sat behind me and played with my hair. 2nd dream of hair playing, where are all these people at? You can just show up and play with my hair. Scam 6.
Same Night as Above: One of my clients Quickbooks file was duplicated and I had to delete the extra individually.
Three dreams in one night: I went to a convention with my cousin and sister. We walked a lot. They brought my placenta with us. Then we noticed there was two placentas and they didn’t know which one was mine. Dream #2: My cousins friend opened an ab business and you had to have abs to be friends with him. He had a van and would travel to help you get abs. #3 Something about church.
I went to an amusement park with my kids and grandmother. My grandma died and one of my kids on the Log Flume ride because they fell out. There was a lawsuit that lasted 4 years.
Dakota peed on some girl from across the room and got some on me. I walked across normally and choked him.
Met a 19 year old teenager at Bike Week and cuddled all weekend. This was the first semi sexy dream all pregnancy. Only cuddling, come on…
My grandmother sold her house. The family was mad. It had something happen to it and needed a bunch of work.
Saw my Ex and his wife at the grocery store and they were arguing in the parking lot. He waved like all was normal. They were going off. Scam #7 and damn why is he in a lot of these?
Kyle (My husband finally shows back up in the dreams) pulled up the whole garden to early to mulch, then tried to replant.
Someone got into my house while Dakota was over visiting. I shot them and Dakota, but they shot me in the leg. My sister came down to fix my leg. Dakota died.
Went to the beach. Ex showed up wanting to talk, did nothing. Scam #8. Same night: Had a long day at work just scheduling inspections then I went to Bike Week in Ocean City. My grandmother came by herself and sat at the wrong table. Dakota came to dinner also and acted dumb also. He also sat at another table.
Went on vacation with my sister and Dakota. We all had a big fight about the kids being fine. Kyle and Mike died when we stopped at a gas station because my sister said something about somebody else’s kids being nosy. The gas station was more like a hotel and people were having an extremely fancy dinner there. Dakota did not die in this dream.
I went on a play date and my Ex was there(the sweet one). He was wonderful and told me all about his life. My other Ex’s wife was there too, she did not talk with us.
My cousin got married. I didn’t go to the wedding, but it was moved and happened to be at the same place I was visiting. My sister went in jeans and it was a problem. There was hundreds of people there. Everyone was drinking, laughing, and dancing. I had a second dream this night, but I can’t remember what it was. I went back to bed and started dreaming about the wedding dream again.
Went over to Kyle’s friends condo to help clean their condo. Her husband was in Orlando. Some people came over and the wife could not calm down. I gave her a massage and she went to sleep. Her husband ended up coming back home early with their new baby and he laid the baby on me so he could go sleep by the wife. She was extremally mad and then he wanted to go to dinner with me. I went home with Kyle.
A connector for Quickbooks was not working properly for a client. This actually happened during that week and I had to fix over the phone, then had a dream about it too. Same night: Another client had a problem with their Quickbooks and I had to rebuild the entire file from the past 30 years.
My grandmother had a bad car accident. She needed a caregiver and refused help. I came home and told Kyle she is about to die. It was sad and awful.
I went to this tavern by my house to eat since Kyle was out of town. I saw my Ex there and he was meeting another woman. His wife showed up and it was crazy. Scam #9.
I took my son to a party and one of the children choked him and I got into a big fight. My son had to go to the hospital.
One of my friend’s Ex wanted me to work at Food Lion with him. He gave me her hair that he had kept, it was like 9 inches. There was a long line and wanted me to help out, but he never came back. I left.
I was at prom and there was no soap in the bathroom. We all had to wait two days to wash our hands and leave.
My Ex was at a grocery store stocking the shelves and everything was in the wrong spot.
I was stuck in a weird group message where they would take pictures of their belly and send them. I never sent one. I was jumpy this day and night, like that weird feeling.
Three dreams this night: Dakota and I went on vacation and he was acting annoying, he made me walk a lot and I was tired. We saw one of Kyle’s friends who was doing a house flip. He wouldn’t listen to us about anything. Then before he left, he told us about a major amount of money he lost. A dream about my baby shower.
My baby needed surgery and there was a long wait for an opening.
My kids learned how to order off Amazon and kept getting gifts for me, but it was what they actually liked and always wanted me to share with them.
I went to my sister and her husband’s house because they wanted me to rest before the baby arrived. They took me to the beach and helped me practice some move with my arm. Then her husband said, you are ready to have the baby.
I got a speeding ticket and they mailed it to my old condo.
Couldn’t remember this one. My child woke me up at 3am.
I went to a hotel with my cousin and we were in Girl Scouts. She was asking everyone what they wanted for food, but there was no food at the hotel. We made an order to one place, but it had nothing to do with what people told her they wanted. We then passed out Christmas cards. It was a really nice hotel.
I went to a beach house that Kyle had bought for me. My Ex was there. We cuddled, but that was the entire relationship. Scam #10.
My friend from a long while ago created an alternative to the internet email system. I had two more dreams this night, but I can’t remember them.
No dream.
No dream night 2, just deep sleep.
No dream night 3, stomach virus.
No dream night 4. I thought the baby would come any day after this.
Three dreams this night: Kyle and I went on vacation with our friends. The wife was mad because she could not get the kids to sleep during the bedtime routine. The husband then got mad because he did get them to sleep, but wife would not have sex with him. 2nd dream Kyle interrupted by waking me up because I was grinding my teeth. 3rd dream: something about work.
Dreamed that my Electrician friend wanted to be a couple with me and Kyle.
Kyle’s friends gave me 4 freeze pops and I put them in their freezer and the wife went off. Then the husband had a work call and the wife asked me to finger her. I was totally confused since she had just stopped yelling at me and her husband over freeze pops.
It was thanksgiving and my family was rude.
My Ex(the sweet one) spent the whole day walking around with me at a convention.
I went to the beach with Dakota and his girlfriend. The girlfriend was mean to me. Dakota had a talk with her then paid for me to stay two more nights.
My cousin was coming over to my house and was joking about hand jobs with Kyle.
I took my kids to NY and it was so busy for the Christmas season. We walked around forever looking for my car since we had no idea where we parked. We went into a hotel to call Kyle and someone snatched my son up and took him.
The kids and I went to Big Lots shopping. They both fell asleep in the shopping cart. They both woke me up this morning at 3AM and got into my bed. They were mostly quiet in hallway before opening my door and they scared me.
I traveled to see two people that are in my family that I do not speak with irl. One wanted me to drop the other off at a drive thru. There was a car accident on the way home and it was a long wait. It was miserable in the car.
Went on a trip to Arizona. I went to bed after researching Arizona this night. Kyle did not want to go. My Ex’s wife was there. Does this chick dream about me too? I mean damn. She hung out with me and Dakota. She gave me a massage every night and brushed my hair. She also held my hair at all the meals and when I brushed my teeth. She said she was interested in Dakota. They just talked then she went back home to her husband. When she got home, she sent a letter in the mail that she wanted to couple up with me and Kyle. I said no and Kyle was mad.
A man from London was in my hotel room when I went on vacation with my sister. We let him stay and then he paid me $250k to have a baby for him. He did the turkey baster thing.
Vacation with my sister. I don’t remember anything more because Kyle woke me up.
My Sister text me and said she had a dream that I had the baby and she made me promise not to tell anyone until she came down to my house to drop Christmas Card stamps off.
Went to the mall with my Ex because he got divorced. He told me to get a one bedroom house and leave Kyle’s drama. Scam #11.
I woke up from a dream (can’t remember and saw a dark blurry shadow in my room). I was jumpy this day.
My son had a dream that I was eaten by a T-rex. We all dreaming in this house.
What Names Made My Name List
My one friend always asked about the name every time she saw me. She asked what names Kyle liked. Me: A bunch of hoe names. Her husband giggled. My list: Maeleigh, Rayina, Aubrielle, Aubreyella, Aubreella, Briella, Breella, Zaina, Brianna, Kyleigh, Lynnsea, Lindsey, Veda, Zeina, Alanna, Avalynn, Avaleigh, Ziana, Azai, Kenzleigh, Kiran. We both wanted Elaine as the middle name after Kyle’s mother. Kyle’s list: Abigail, Blair, Tessa, Brianna, Addison, Eveyln, McKenzie, Delilah.
Funniest Comments Made to Me (or by me)
My friend came over to me at my shower and said let me rub your belly a little. Me: Do you have anything for me to rub? He pretends to undo his pants.
You do know what causes babies, right? Me: That is the problem. Kyle knows exactly how to fuck. JK, this one didn’t happen. The question did get asked, but I said that is the very problem. It was Kyle’s family so I was a little bit more reserved on the answer to this.
I was in the bath and I told Kyle, better come in here and get some pictures to jerkoff to before it is too late. He giggled. He does love pregnant women. We went to the beach a little while ago and there was this lady there that was 7-8 months. Kyle said look at her belly and smiled. Me: Damn, I hope you bring the pregnant woman home that you are life partners with. He giggled again.
My grandmother said: Are you having this one at home too? Me: Visibly confused, where else would she come to me? After two homebirths it is hard to think there is another place that is better to have my children leave the womb than my own home that is filled with a loving atmosphere, has the people in my immediate circle that I love, and all my stuff.
Me: I am leaking and so wet lately. Kyle: Oh yea (getting all excited). Me: My ex hasn’t been around so I am totally confused. Kyle: laughs and rolls eyes grinning.
Me: Supervising the cleaning up of my kid’s room (naked). Kyle: Woosh. Prolly because I am 9 months pregnant and my belly is out there. What are you Woosh-ing at? Pick these Legos up sir.
Kyle: Rubbing my tummy in a nonsexual way. He was under my bellybutton and I said don’t go down there because it is a lake and I don’t want you to get the wrong idea that you doing something good. He giggled.
My son to Kyle (very worried): What if Mommy is asleep when the baby comes and she is on the couch when we wake up?
Weird Ones
You look so good until the end and then it is very noticeable that you are pregnant. Me: Oh, huh. Yep, there is a live baby girl in there growing.
Kyle: Are you okay. Me: Yes, I feel okay. Why? Kyle: Because your breathing was weird last night and just now. Guys, I am 9 months pregnant. Damn I can’t even breathe in my house right now.
I dropped the shampoo in the shower and Kyle came running in the bathroom and said omg did the baby fall out. Me: Omg fuck, please calm down I dropped the shampoo.
Kyle: Oh, so you are getting off the couch. Me: Fuck off Kyle. Me texting my sister: Kyle just said oh, so you are getting off the couch. So I guess this means he wants to die. AND then Apple autocorrected me to diet. I had to delete the t. He doesn’t diet and honestly nobody in this house is interested in a diet. Note that down Princess Heidi Iphone Autocorrect.
Kyle: You are so soft usually, but you are super soft when you are pregnant. Little does he know, it’s just untonedness and squishy.
Not really weird, but Kyle said I hope it is over quick for you. This was him being sweet and I appreciated it.
Pregnancy Fun Facts
Gained 11 pounds.
I will miss my little table I could eat on.
Baby is going to be born past the due date. My brother won the pool for closest to born date. Not that brother, the other twin brother. He guessed the day before I was due, Nobody guessed that she would wait us out and be born late.
Heartburn at Week 39 and beyond anytime I ate any sweets or desserts. I mean come on, we are almost there baby.
Kyle drove me everywhere starting at Week 39. I hate driving, so I liked this.
Emotional Level: Cried twice.
I heavily use shea butter when pregnant to help with skin stretching. I used 3 blocks this time (or Kyle did, he puts on me most nights).
Kyle told me: You really are beautiful.
I never nested. With both boys, I nested the last two months. Maybe because lack of energy and I couldn’t have cleaned or organized well anyway.
I didn’t crave anything with really any of thee kids. I ate whole foods and grass fed meat from the Famer’s Market, mostly like my regular diet when I am not pregnant. I did cut back on dairy, chocolate, and spicy food because this baby did not like it and would kick me violently. I didn’t eat much dessert until the last two months of pregnancy, which is totally weird for me. My kids were totally missing the cookies and cake treats since I just didn’t make them.
My son was the sweetest. He asked where is the baby. Then, he hugged my belly every night with his small little hands cupped, kissed my belly, said goodnight baby.
I missed my dog this pregnancy, my dog passed away earlier this year. The past two pregnancies, he would follow me around and sleep by my feet that last two weeks before both my other children were born.
Can’t Wait For
My other son is not too heavy, but too heavy for my to lift since month 3, so I am so looking forward to picking him up again once the new baby has arrived.
And the sex. It will be nice to get back to my normal sex life with my Kyle. This baby stayed so low most of this pregnancy that we majorly switched up our love time together. I also miss sleeping on him.
My house being clean-clean. It will also be nice to be able to give Kyle a break. As mentioned earlier, he is not me but gives the house and kids stuff his best effort. He needs a break soon, as I am sure he is extremally tired. It will be nice when my energy returns and I don’t constantly feel exhausted. I also like picking up my house before before nightly and right now it is hard for us to do that.
My energy. With this baby, I was mostly on rest.
Fitting back into my clothes. I have exactly one shirt that the bottom of my tummy doesn’t peek out of. A few dresses and some long sleeve zip up shirts have saved me from buying maternity clothes. I did have two pair of maternity jeans here and wore those. One is major mom jeans and the other is just okay to wear. I came down the stairs the other day with my tummy shirt on (one that was made to be a belly shirt, it cuts off half way down my belly and boobs) and said to Kyle, who says you need to spend a lot of money on maternity clothes? We both really laughed. I like wearing my regular clothes, then going shopping after the baby once I am ready to go out and look at new clothes.
Sleeping Better. I sleep wherever I am able to at this point, since I am waking up about every 2-3 hours already. I also wake easily when pregnant. Non-pregnant, I can sleep through a train going by my house. Kyle told me yesterday, I am going to start waking you up before I leave for work to see how you are feeling. Me: No, tf you are not. Another note, we have all slept in different rooms and beds since month 5. There has been no rules here lately. My kids love it. Now, the other night I was going to sleep and told Kyle: let me touch your dick. So we were doing that and our kids come into our room. Kyle is getting up to get them. Imagine their confusion when Kyle is basically telling them no to all their little demands. They each had their pillow and blankets. Why didn’t this man make sure he completed the bedtime routine? Anyway, he did get them back to bed and nobody cried which I was surprised about. I was laughing so hard because literally everything they said or asked, Kyle said No, boys. No this, No that. Anyway, Kyle finally got back and I said: omg what do you want me to do with this and we both giggled. He said sorry you have to start over. Then 7 minutes later, Kyle goes You want me to go get the kids now? I told yall this man is sweet. (giggle)
The loneliness feeling to leave. I have been sleeping on the couch for a while now because I cannot get out of my foam bed comfortably when I am ready to get up. Kyle sometimes falls asleep with our children during bedtime routine. He has been sleeping on the couch with me for the past two weeks and it’s okay. I like sleeping near him. It will be nice when him and I are both back in our bed together.
To get back to my skin care routine. I use a face oil in the mornings and a spray/roller/and oil at night. The might happen maybe once a week and not all three items. The morning routine was about every other day.
My Final Thoughts
I have been centering my thoughts on a calm and gentle birth for my sweet girl. I also meditated and am continuing to do so on a happy and healthy baby (and I still meditate on these after the baby is here, still use both of these for my other two kids in my meditation and thoughts).
I also sing that song head down, ass up in my head so the baby knows what position is the best for birth for her and me. I really don’t have a reason for doing this, she knows the way. It’s still kind of funny to me. I also let her know to be ready and not drag this out. Gentle, get in position, and come on with it.
My friend has been texting me daily to see how I am feeling. She also keeps telling me the food she is going to bring when she comes to visit. I am grateful for her and really looking forward to her being here. Well, if she makes it before she has been born. My last labor was 45 minutes. Her house is 45 minutes from me. She won’t make it, but I am keeping spirits high that she will (mainly for her).
I am ready for my baby girl to be here. The sexiest thing I have done in a week(and longer) is hold my life partner’s foot or hand depending on what position he is sleeping in while we both sleep on the couch together. The other night he did give me a really good massage. Then he was almost done and he spent more time on my butt, lower back, and neck. Like 30 minutes more. After he was all done, he just lays down. Me: What’s up? Are you going to jerk it? I don’t even need to check my calendar to know it has been a bit for him. Him: Oh. I did not realize this was even in the cards. This made me a little sad. Sexy time gets a little weird during late pregnancy, depending on the growing child. My first two were fine. We had sex a day or two before the birth of both of our sons. Anyway he said yes, I will do that. Me: Do not get it on the couch or my blanket. Kyle giggles. A little way into it, he says do you want to do it. Me: Well, I’m still a little mad with you, do you really want me to? He giggled again.
We are six days past the “due” date. I absolutely can’t wait for my Christmas baby!
With love,
Heidi
