Why Can’t I Orgasm?
9 Reasons Why Women Can’t Reach Climax
Struggling to do something that seems easy and normal for others can be frustrating, and female orgasm difficulty is no exception. The reasons behind the issue can be numerous, though, so if this has been a problem for you, keep reading. Orgasmic dysfunction is an issue that many women deal with, and up until recent decades, it wasn’t even seen as a problem.
However, due to the ways sexual health has evolved, difficulty orgasming is not only worth looking into, but a solution may very well exist for meeting the challenges you’re facing.
Why Can’t You Orgasm?
If you find it difficult or impossible to achieve orgasms, you might be blaming yourself and wondering what you’re doing wrong. While this is a common reaction, though, it’s counterproductive as there’s a huge chance that this issue is not your fault. Every woman is different, so if you’re struggling, you might want to look into the most common reasons why many women can’t reach climax…yet.
#1- You’re in pain.
If sex feels unpleasant or painful, it can make achieving an orgasm nearly impossible. Orgasms are usually something that occurs as a natural response to prolonged pleasure and when that sensation is lacking, so are the orgasms.
Using a sufficient amount of lubrication and taking sex slow at first can help relax the pelvic muscles and reduce pain during intercourse.
#2- Chemical Interference
Chemical interference could be related to the chemicals naturally present in your brain and body, or the chemicals introduced by medications you’re taking. For example, your natural oxytocin (love chemical) levels might be on the low side, which makes it harder to become sexually aroused. Additionally, if you take prescription medications, like antidepressants, the medicine might be dampening your sexual desire.
Please do not suddenly stop taking your medication without guidance. Instead, speak to your doctor about your concerns to see if there are options available to help.
#3- Communication Barriers
During sex, communication is essential. If you’re not communicating with your partner to let him or her know what does and doesn’t feel good, they might struggle to please you. In addition, your partner might not be asking about your experience during sex, because he or she assumes you’re enjoying yourself.
Try to provide your partner with input on whether you like or dislike something they’re doing.
#4- Inattentive Partner
Sometimes, sex can get distracting, and your partner might be getting swept up in their own pursuit of pleasure. As such, their attention might not be on you as much as it should be. It’s often not intentional, but if you find that your partner is not paying attention to your needs, express your concerns.
Additionally, if you try masturbation and you find that the problem either persists or disappears, this experiment might help you include or exclude certain causes.
#5- You’re trying too hard.
Stressing over your inability to climax can weigh heavily on your mind and make it even harder to relax so that you can enjoy yourself. Putting too much pressure on yourself can be a real mood killer, so if you’re preoccupied, that might be adding to the problem.
To remedy this, try to put the desired results out of your mind. It’s easier said than done, of course, but do your best to keep your thoughts in the experience you’re having currently.
#6- Poor Preparation
Poor preparation can take on several forms. For one, if you didn’t go to the bathroom before sex, your bladder might be full and uncomfortable, which can become a distraction. Additionally, if you didn’t shower and you’re worried about stinking or being “unclean”, your mind might be caught up in that thought. Finally, if your partner proceeds with sex too quickly and doesn’t dedicate time to foreplay, you might not feel physically or emotionally ready.
To get rid of these concerns, try to prepare yourself for intimacy the same way you would with other tasks. Go to the bathroom, freshen up, and encourage your partner to take his or her time with you.
#7- You’re nervous or anxious.
There are a lot of reasons why a person might feel nervous or anxious about sex, and many of those reasons get in the way of truly enjoying the experience. Anxiety surrounding sexuality and/or reaching climax can become a roadblock.
Some nervousness or anxiousness can be worked through between couples, but if the anxiety stems from trauma, it might be helpful to speak with a mental health professional for guidance.
#8- Undiagnosed Medical Reasons
An undiagnosed or unmanaged medical condition can get in the way of pleasure during sex, whether it’s due to the pain the disorder causes or the weight that an illness places on the mind. For women who really aren’t sure what’s behind their struggles to climax, health problems might be worth looking into. Not only will a diagnosis clarify some of your concerns, but there are often things your doctor can prescribe to help you adjust.
#9- You’re not enjoying sex.
Even if you and/or your partner are doing everything in your grasp to enhance sexual stimulation during intercourse, you might find that you don’t enjoy sex. Of course, when many people realize that interest or enjoyment isn’t happening for them, they can feel like there’s something “wrong” with them.
Fortunately, that’s not the case. If you find that you’re just not able to enjoy the experiences of human sexuality, it doesn’t have to mean that something needs to be fixed. Asexuals exist, and they’re perfectly healthy people despite not being interested in sex.
If you have explored the potential reasons behind your inability to achieve orgasms, and you feel overwhelmed, it might be time to reach out for help. Coaching services on sex, relationships, and self-love might be just what you’re looking for, so if you need advice, look no further. Book a coaching session to discuss your concerns and explore an array of potential solutions so that you can start living as your best possible self.
