This is not a client. I was working in a random coffee shop in Warrenton and overheard this conversation. Two married men met up and were catching up on their lives. One was telling this extremely hilarious story of now having a rule about changing the sheets in his home. Long story short, he had no idea his wife wanted the sheets changed x amount of times per year. Communicate with your partner so they know exactly what makes you happy. It saves a lot of time, effort, and arguments. Story and lengthy advice below.
Story I overheard while I was working in a random coffee shop in Warrenton. This is not a client. I wish I knew these two guys. I was giggling to myself for their entire meetup and I cannot believe I didn’t laugh out loud at certain stories they were swapping. I should have asked them to invite me next time and I would sit at their table and just listen to them. However, that would have been weird, right? Not as weird as running into my Ex at Verizon on a random Sunday and us not speaking to one another, but it still would have made the weird list. I didn’t ask them.
Please Change the Sheets Regularly
He told his friend that his wife was extremely upset the other day and told him the sheets needed to be changed more and she would like his help in changing them. He looks at his friend and says, “Listen, I have no problem changing the sheets. I am totally fine with it. However, before I married her I changed my sheets three times a year. So this is very new to me.” Ask the person you share a bed with how many times is the right amount of times to change the sheets. If you match up, your are meant to be. Kyle and I do not match up on this. He wouldn’t change the sheets except once a month. I like them changed every 3 days or whenever he has the sheet catch his baby gravy. Anyway, we never had a huge argument about the sheets, but he did think it was wild to change the sheets more than his prior-relationship number. Anyway, back to the story. This man says, I have no issue with helping her change them. It’s not like I look at the sheets and think these are totally disgusting and when is E********* going to change them. Never, I would never. He did a little gasp here too for entertainment. My big issue is why did we spend 15 minutes arguing about this when she could have just said I like the sheets changed once a week. I literally had no idea. Now it’s on our schedule in the living room the days it is my responsibility to change the sheets.
Cutting the Grass Story
An issue the other friend had in his marriage was the grass being cut. Apparently, the tractor was being repaired and the grass wasn’t cut for a week, then it rained, then he had a late day at work. He said she lost her mind over the grass and cut it herself. His friend said, “Did it look good?” No, it looked terrible. It was at least four different lengths. Friend: “How long did it take her?” Three or more hours. Add on two more for the argument we had about the damn grass. So now I’m hiring a lawn company to do it because this was totally stressful in my marriage. However, what happens if my lawn guys gets sick or goes on vacation and my marriage absolutely crumbles because of the grass schedule not being met? What do I do then? Friend: Good idea to hire a lawn company. Make a friend on your street and pay their highschooler to do it when your guy is sick. I think about him and his marriage whenever it rains multiple days in a row. I think, “Damn, I hope he mowed before the rain.” Hopefully the lawn company has already started. I have mowed the grass once in my life, so I have no side story to this one. I am also not weird about the grass cutting schedule. Kyle is busy and gets to it eventually.
Pillow Talk with Heidi: My Advice
FROM HEIDI: Clearly communicating with anyone you keep in your circle will save you time, energy, money (sometimes), stress, etc. I could go on and on. Over communicate your needs, wants, and desires. Even if it is just a sheet changing schedule or a plan to get the grass mowed. Communicate exactly what your thoughts are on the subject. Sometimes the other person is not trying to cause you stress, they just have no idea that x would make you feel better or happy.
PLEASE NOTE: This advice is generic advice on basic communication in a relationship. It is HARD to coach over email. Call me and tell me all the details of your situation.
