It seems that most fall into one of these two categories: hair is natural or hair must go. I have tips on both below.
Hair is Natural
If you are an all natural person, then follow these steps:
>While showering, lather soap.
>Use lathered soap on area with hair.
>Rinse thoroughly.
>Pat completely dry when exiting shower with cotton towel.
> That’s it. Simple. Makes sense because the natural way is normally pretty simple.
Funny text thread beside these directions and a picture of some fries I had earlier this month. Side Note: I don’t normally eat fries because they hurt my stomach later and I feel like my heart is going to burst because most establishments still cook with sh*tty seed oils and refuse to use Tallow or Avocado Oil to save costs. Anyway, rant over. The fries looked good and they tasted good while I was eating them. My stomach did hurt later on.
Shaving Pointers
Okay. Eric if you are reading this, please skip, or I’ll break your heart.
I actually get this question a lot, “What is the best way to shave?” There are many ways and many articles. This is my way. It works for me when I shave. If you ask me the “right” way, this is what I will say to you.
>Use an organic non-gmo scrub.
> Use a clean razor. Okay. I use whatever razor Kyle has in the shower for me. I am extremely guilty for not replacing razors when it is necessary. I think I have only bought 4 in my entire life. Now, this actually bothers Kyle. Another past boyfriend gently told me that they needed to be replaced more often also. So, I know I am the weird one here. So, if you are like me: Make sure your partner buys and replaces them in a timely manner for you. It does matter. Kyle has his own razor and has for many years just in case you are worried if he is still sharing with me.
>Use non-gmo, cold pressed and unrefined, organic coconut oil (glass jar one) on the area. This is why I can’t find a boyfriend. I’m a little picky on food, items that go on my skin, and humans that I choose to be around. Anyway, do NOT buy toxic coconut oil that contains fillers. It is out there.
>Make sure you have enough coconut oil. Do not shave dry. It should be on for every stroke.
>Immediately after shaving to satisfaction, pat coconut oil gently on all shaved parts while in the shower before getting out.
>Finish whatever else you are doing in the shower: shampooing, masturbating, etc.
Funny Story
Funny story: The other morning my children were being loud and somebody was crying (It wasn’t Kyle.). I cut my shower short and went downstairs to investigate. Like, where is their Dad? I found Kyle in the living room with the whining child (He was fine: Lego disagreement with his brother.). The children went upstairs to play.
Me: It’s loud here and it would be nice for it to be quiet when I am masturbating in the shower.
Kyle: Oh, Yeah? (Thinking I am being sarcastic.)
Me: Yes. Also, We cannot run the washer or dishwasher when I am in or about to get in. It was cold at the end.
Kyle: Oh my. You are being serious. Blinks a few times. “Well, was it good? Guess you found something else to think about since you are upset with your ex.”
Me: I did.
Okay, back to the shaving.
>Apply coconut oil on the freshly shaved parts gently after toweling off with a cotton towel. Cotton underwear for shave day and the next day.
>Coconut oil for the next 1-3 days once a day in the morning. I only need 2 days and it’s all good for me.
Quick Shaving Pointers: Without Side Notes
>Scrub
>Apply coconut oil
>Shave
>Apply more coconut oil (in shower)
>Apply more coconut oil while toweling off
>Apply coconut oil next 1-3 mornings
I have a shave partner. Anytime I shave, it seems my friend also shaves. We do not plan it out. It just seems we are connected on the shave timeline of our lives, which I think is a little funny. When I do shave, I think to myself I bet Z********** shaved yesterday or today. Also, do NOT use baby powder for shaving or on your actual baby. A baby powder company was sued a while ago. Look it up. Do not use baby power down there. Baby powder is not a necessary product and stop giving them your money.
Coconut Oil for Here, Here, and Here!
Kyle and I have a designated coconut oil jar for everything here. There are not many rules, but we make them when necessary. Friends, when we had one jar of coconut oil for everything it was so yuk. We have a kitchen coconut oil, shower coconut oil (One time I jerked Kyle off with shampoo and he thought his penis was going to fall off. However, he didn’t stop me, which was wild. Men are wild. I love it. Another time, I used castor oil. Have you ever used castor oil? That sh*t is thick af. If you have successfully jerked a man off (or yourself) with this goo, message me immediately and tell me your tricks. It was so sticky and thick. I did tap out on this one, got out of bed, and retrieved the coconut oil), bedroom coconut oil (See story I just told, you gotta have one near the bed.), and an extra one under the bathroom sink. Trust me on this, get a few different jars.
