Sex Coaching Frequently Asked Questions
What is Sex Coaching?
Coaching is a form of development in which an experienced person (me) supports and encourages a learner (you) to change their life in certain desired ways, as well as directing them forward purposefully on the path they wish to pursue. I do exactly this, through empowerment and mindfulness, with your sex life. Sex coaching is not awkward or embarrassing. I can tell you: I am very comfortable talking about sex.
Coaching is an interactive process that can be acutely emotional. My role is to provide a calm and nurturing space for you to sort through these emotions. This is sensitive work, and it requires teamwork, along with open and honest communication. I will listen to you without being judgmental. I am open-minded and use a positive approach to coaching. Coaching, goal setting, mindfulness, and a multitude of other techniques will be applied to help you to achieve what your mind and heart are seeking.
What does mindfulness have to do with sex?
Understanding and creating a space of mindfulness is imperative to a vibrant, happy, and fulfilling sex life. Meditation is a great way to cultivate mindfulness. Chat me for some tips on basic meditation techniques. Everyone can meditate! Don’t be intimidated, I promise you can do it. Studies have shown that long-term meditators experience increased cortical gyrification of the brain’s insula. According to one peer-reviewed Dartmouth study, women with more gyrified insula experienced more intense orgasms.
Mindfulness is a necessary skill for all aspects of life, and sex is no different. Once I learned practical techniques for achieving mindfulness, I was able to cut down anxiety and focus my energy on exactly what I chose to focus on. If I am giving someone my time, and allowing them to take my energy, I am going to make sure I’m totally present in that moment. Your heart must be present during sex, or you are not in the correct place or with the correct person for that time. It could just be the timing, but take a good hard look and ensure it is not the person or the place.
Completely experiencing another person, without filters or barriers of any kind, is an experience whose depth and intensity is unmatched in this lifetime. Perfect intimacy matchups lead to the strongest connections, and that leads to better relationships (and as a bonus, whole body orgasms).
It is natural for minds to wander. However, with practice and dedication, you can learn to train your mind to calm itself, and to fully enjoy and appreciate whatever it is you are giving your time and energy to. Doesn’t that sound nice?
Is sex coaching sex therapy?
Sex coaching is not sex therapy. We will visualize and create a plan to work towards achieving the sex life of your dreams. My role is to empower you with certain tried-and-true tools to achieve your specific goals, with a direct approach that includes compassionate accountability.
Do you use touch or sexual techniques in your coaching sessions?
Short answer: No.
Long answer: I do not. Sometimes your session involves sex, but this will be done in private, either by yourself or with a partner.
What makes you qualified to talk about sex other than you love it?
I offer excellent advice. My friends have always confided in me about their sex lives, and I have always found this topic easy to talk about. It’s a major part of life, existence, nature, and being human. It is what makes the world go ‘round, and I believe it solves a ton of problems. Thus, sex coaching is the perfect path for me, and I genuinely enjoy helping couples map out goals and overcome barriers.
The process of working with a sex coach helps to further bond couples (improving their sex life in and of itself), and to strengthen their relationship.
I had an acquaintance tell me one time: All you think about is sex. You are over the top.
My response: I do think about it a lot. What else is there to think about?
Ask people what their daily thoughts truly are, and where their heart lies. The answer? Sex. Thus, this is the topic I love to talk about. And by the way, it is okay to say the word ‘sex’ outloud, I promise. Say it with me: SEX SEX SEX SEX.
Do you have any professional training?
I am certified in Sexology, Love Coaching, and Relationship Coaching. This is a fancy way of saying I can help to enrich your knowledge and build your skill and finesse in the art of love, relationships, romance, intimacy, and human sexuality.
I was trained by Dr. Ava Cadell at Loveology University. I have the training and practical knowledge to help you boost confidence in the bedroom and have the sex life you desire. Lastly, I am excellent at building and maintaining strong and healthy relationships. This is really key to building a better sex life, since everything revolves around the relationship.
Why do clients choose to meet with you?
I am a neutral, well-intentioned and thoroughly trained third party. I am not in the bedroom or in the relationship with you and your partner. I also do not pick a side, and will listen to you both equally and fair-mindedly. At the end of the day, I am going home to my own happy relationship.
It is easier to open up and be brutally honest with a trained professional who is not entwined in your social circle. I am also creative, innovative, driven and organized. I will take notes and help set a clear goal with you. If you don’t have the confidence to talk with friends, family, or even your partner: call up a Sexologist (me). As you will discover, we sexologists are made of pure magic, and we will help you to achieve your sexual goals, both individually and in a relationship.
What happens in the coaching sessions?
During the session, we first spend time discussing and becoming conscious of your sex life. Then we work systematically and creatively to transform it, so you may enjoy the desired outcome. I promise to upgrade your knowledge about sex, love, and relationships. Sex coaching sessions move you into alignment with your desired goal. Being coached, just like sex, is an experience that is profoundly unique to the needs and traits of each client.
How are coaching sessions performed?
I offer sessions in person, virtually, or by phone. A mix can be offered. Each has its own pros and cons. We will discuss which type of session is best.
How many sessions will I need?
Everyone is different, however I work with most clients on a weekly or biweekly basis. Repetition and practice are very important. When the client commits, they get the results they desire.
Are sessions performed individually or with all parties present?
Let’s say my partner and I are having issues. Should we opt for separate individual coaching or should we come together? It’s always better to come together (pun intended). Initially, I would like to work with both of you together in one session. If you are not comfortable coming together (again, giggling), we will all take a breath and I promise it will be okay. If you can’t talk about your sex life right beside your partner, then we will need to work on communicating before we begin sextalk sessions. After this work is complete, if one of you would like to continue with individual sessions, I am able to set that up with you.
What do you love the most about Sexology?
I love the interesting conversations I have with people. The coaching sessions with individuals in relationships are my favorite. It’s amazing to observe how a single poignant sentence or breakthrough moment allows someone to truly gather their thoughts and solve an issue. Witnessing these moments is my favorite part of being a sexologist.
What’s your best sex advice in a nutshell?
If you want something, ask for it. Your partner is not a mind reader. Tell them exactly what you want and how you like it, or be prepared for them to take a long time to figure it out. I don’t like mysteries, and most people don’t either. If you have a hard time communicating, express it through magnets, sticky notes, etc. Also, call me immediately. Pictures of magnet messages I left for my favorite lover below. We love writing to each other in magnets. My communication skills are excellent and I can help you. Please don’t struggle through this lifetime being incapable of asking for exactly what you want or need.
You are not getting out of here alive. Give this life your everything. Be in the moment, because it will be gone before you know it. Calm your body and your mind, without attaching expectations or pressure to sex. Orgasm is nothing more and nothing less than energy moving throughout the body. If the body is angry, tense, sad, etc. it makes it much more difficult to achieve top tier results in the bedroom (and in the relationship). Did you orgasm, great! But was it soul moving and did it make your top 10?
Choose to surround yourself with individuals who love you, cheer you on, and who do make your top 10.
How do I set up a sex coaching appointment with you?
Click here for my scheduling calendar. Please email me, at heidi@duckingprincess.com, a short paragraph (or essay if you’ve really got a lot to say) describing exactly what you would like to focus on during our shared time together. I will call you exactly on time for the connection call. Or, shoot me an email and we can connect via chat. I look forward to speaking with your lovely self soon! Please be well, and hold good energy until then.
With love, Heidi
