Pull Out and Pray: Choices in Birth Control
Choices, choices. There are so many forms of birth control available, it can be difficult to choose the right one. This article aims to help you make this important decision, but please do your own research as well. If you choose an option and it causes side effects and other problems, don’t hesitate to go back to the drawing board and choose another. You deserve a form of birth control that is both effective and agreeable to your body, mind and spirit. To help my readers on their own journey with birth control, I will go through some of the forms I have chosen in the past. I will share what worked and what didn’t, and make sure you read to the end, because I reveal what method I am currently using.
When I met Kyle I was on the pill. He loved it (of course) since he didn’t have to worry about pulling out. As long as I was on the pill, we didn’t notice any side effects. However, once I went off the pill, because we had decided to start a family, I immediately lost weight. Dakota: This is when I lost my big butt. The pill had been chemically affecting my body, and once I stopped taking it, I felt more like “me” than I had in a long time. It was amazing to feel like myself again.
One fact about me: my periods have never been regular, not even on the pill. Most women notice their periods become irregular when off the pill. I remember getting sick with viruses more often while on the pill as well. After we had our first son, we didn’t even put this option of birth control back on the table. I appreciated feeling more balanced and not having to slog through any more sluggish days.
Next up: Natural Family Planning. Many of my crunchy friends use this method successfully. You track your temperature and your period cycles. There is a whole science and method to determining the days you are most likely to avoid getting pregnant. It takes at least three months of data, and six months is better for this method to work properly. Natural Family Planning requires discipline and a detail-oriented personality. It also works better for women whose periods are regular. I can personally attest to this fact. As I mentioned previously, my periods are not regular. To illustrate this point, we made our second son using this method. Add an ovulation test to this method, and pull out and pray (like, really pray) if your cycles are irregular. I do not recommend this method to anyone whose moon time is irregular.
After my second son was born, we tried condoms. We both immediately despised them. So we went ahead with the good old pull out and pray method. This technique worked for us. Kyle was not jumping over the moon about pulling out, but he found creative ways to make it fun. I liked this method. It was natural. We did have to focus on separate orgasms because he had to yank out. However, this wasn’t as big of a thing as we thought it would be. We both orgasmed separately, cuddled, then went to sleep. One important point: this method works only if the man has control over his body, and is able to successfully pull out in a timely manner. Some studies show that precum occurs during sexual play and this can lead to pregnancy. He has precum sometimes, but it never led to pregnancy for us (must have been because of all the praying).
Now, let me tell you all a little story. I promise this one ties into the above topic. There came a point in our “birth control” journey where I was always feeling drained and tired. I had no energy. I would go into the city on Tuesdays, have a nice lunch, then come home, and with great effort I would finish my other work before Kyle and my children arrived home. Sometimes I would have self sex, if I had the time. It was two weeks straight of this total lack of energy and I thought: am I dying? Then, at the beginning of week three, I could smell sounds. I said that right. In fact, I could smell everything. I said to Kyle: “We are having a baby.” He responded: “How?” I was actually slow blinking. This is an intelligent man. “Well,” I retorted, “let’s see, you left it in three times in one month because the sex was so excellent (for you). We were overdue for this.” He was still confused. Men are special.
Guys and Girls, I keep a sex calendar. I started to track down my phone to rattle off the dates he did not pull out, as well as ratings of the sex (yes, I write it down for the permanent record if it’s good or absolutely terrible). We had a good laugh. Then a week later, he seems to suggest that I, a woman, don’t know my body. He asks when I am taking a test. “Just to be sure,” he says. Are you kidding me? I did buy a test to appease him, which he still needs to pay for out of his allowance. This was a totally unnecessary purchase. Anyway, it took a week and a half for the test to arrive. I am a dry and extremely sarcastic woman, so I put notes on the front door until the test arrived. One note said: “Ice ice baby.” Another said: “Put an addition on the cabin.” He loved them.
The test came, and they have one now that will tell you: 1 week, 2 weeks, or 3 weeks plus. You have to get this one from the UK. Anyway, I took the test, and then he is having to scramble on google translate, because the results are in another language. The translation: With child. What a sweet way to word that another child is coming. He was over the moon. Pull out and pray works, but you have to actually pull it out friends, or you will have your own “with child” story.
These are the birth control methods I have used. If you have successfully employed a different approach, chat me so I can research it and add it to my list. Your method may end up helping others who are looking for a more desirable form of birth control.
Ok, so what are we using right now, you ask? Absolutely nothing. I am knocked up. We are having some of the most intimate sex of our relationship. Pregnant sex for us is fabulous. Kyle loves to finish at the same time, so he is all about it right now. My sex drive is higher when pregnant, so if you see my husband at work with extremely tired eyes, first of all, no you did not. I’ll be looking for a pull out partner around June of 2023, since that will be about six months into breastfeeding, and I will again have to choose a method. The literal cycle of life.
Last thoughts, my baby is almost here. I will be starting my maternity leave extra soon. If you have an emergency, email me at: heidi@duckingprincess.com. Be prepared to see some boob because wow, do babies eat all the time or what? Also, be ready to see some wild hair on the Facetime. I don’t brush my hair on a normal basis anyway, but during the first nine months of a new baby settling out of the womb and into our home, my hair gets extra crazy. My friend once told me: the higher the bun, the higher on the psycho scale. The picture below features my pre-baby wild hair. Contact me and let me know where you think I fall on the psycho scale.
You know I don’t do conclusions, just stop reading friends.
With Love,
Heidi
