Are you looking to reignite with your lover in the bedroom? Are you just so bored you could die? It is super easy to fall into the same pattern in a relationship. If you want to spice up your relationship, read on to find out some simple tips to try. Most monogamous relationships struggle with loss of desire over time for a variety of reasons. I support keeping the spark alive and well in your relationship. It takes some work, but doesn’t everything? Feelings of boredom will creep in from time to time in long-lasting relationships. It is normal.
Communicate to Avoid Boredom in the Bedroom
Creating and maintaining relationships where everyone feels understood, supported, and well loved will help the relationship grow and deepen. Become a communicator, this will save you a lot of headache. I overcommunicate and this has driven some men crazy. Kyle likes it. I just say plainly how things are and he doesn’t have to read my mind and figure out a big mystery. I have said to him, I am very bored and this is not satisfying. He could have gotten his feelings hurt and yelled, or had another reaction. He told me okay. He got on Google. He tried some new and different things. He wanted to become more for me and better for me because at that moment that is what I wanted and needed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m NOT turning down vanilla sex. But, it is nice when I need him to excite me he shows up and does just that. We have plenty of boring marital sex and we have plenty exciting whole-body orgasm sex.
Questions to Ask to Fix Boredom
Get the details from them. Ask as many questions as you can think of. Some examples are below:
Why is my partner not climaxing?
Does sex hurt?
Is my partner seeing someone else?
Is my partner ill?
Why is my partner bored with the sex?
Ask in a gentle and noninvasive way and let them tell you. In order for you to understand what your partner wants and needs, you have to be able to listen. Many people wait quietly when someone is talking and then respond with what they wanted to say all along. They have no idea what the person just said because their mind is on what they want to truly be talking about. This is not listening.
Simple Ways to Fix Bedroom Boredom
-Learn a new bedroom skill.
-Try a new position or bust out a position you have not done in a while.
-Learn sexy bedroom talk. This is actually harder to pull off than one may think if it is not completely thought through. Or maybe you are better with on-the=spot communication. I do better when I have a little time to think before I respond. I remember one guy was sexy talking to me in the bedroom. It was going along okay. Then he got overly aggressive with words I did not even know this shy and quiet man knew. It was so different and I was not prepared. So, what did I do? I busted out laughing. Friends, I could not stop. I tried because I did not want the sex to end because of my laughing, In between my snort laughs, I said OMG, WHAT? He did one of his sweet giggles. Then promptly said, I’m so sorry. Then he said, can you please laugh more because I love your laugh and the way the vibration feels when we are having sexy time. Do you have a good sexy bedroom talk story? Let me hear it!
-Role play. I know a couple who goes out on Friday nights and pretend they do not know each other all the way until they both finish in the bedroom. Sometimes they pick out who they are before hand and other times, not until they get to the restaurant or whatever outing they are on. They have been together for over 20 years. This works great for them. This is an easy way to switch it up and also inexpensive.
Is S*x learned or natural?
We all contain sexual energy. The want or desire to have sex with another is natural. However, like anything else: Being a good sex partner is a learned skill. You get better with research, time, practice, etc. I can promise you nobody begins having sex and is totally amazing at it. Think back to your first time? How was it? I hope you are smiling while thinking back. I remember the first time I was being intimate with someone. He asked me: Well, did you orgasm? Me: I don’t think so. Then he would explain how it felt and I was like, no, definitely not. We would laugh and try again another day. I have not met a men yet that doesn’t want to learn a new bedroom skill. I just had someone say, I am always open to learning how to do something better or something new in the bedroom. His energy was amazing and I was really impressed by him.
Manifest to Avoid Boredom in your Relationship
If you feel stuck, bored, or want a change from “okay” sex to toe-curling, then manifest it. Focus your energy on what you need in your relationship and tell yourself it is coming to you. I do this and it is powerful. Focus on the intimacy in the relationship. Is it nonexistent? Start here. Intimacy needs to be repaired before any whole-body orgasms will occur naturally. I hope you transform your relationship by manifesting it and that your sex life is grown into something that is pleasing to everyone in the relationship.
Learn ecstatic sex to Eliminate Boredom in the Bedroom
This is my second favorite type of sex. Whole body orgasm sex is my top tier favorite and what I manifest on the regular. Ecstatic sex is wonderful and everyone should have this in their sex skill set.
Some Key Characteristics of Ecstatic Sex:
Deep connection with your bedroom partner.
You will feel a full release, just as you do when you have a whole body orgasm.
The focus is completely on your partner. Give all your attention, energy, and love to your partner, while they are doing the same back to you creates a vibration that feels something not of this world.
This type of sex will make your top 20 list, I promise! It leaves you completely satisfied. Basic (or boring) sex is still good. I’m not going to turn it down if Kyle wants to have boring sex with me. It’s totally like pizza. All pizza is yum, but every now and again you find a place and it checks all the boxes and it is completely satisfying. And you keep going back there for more. The deep connection comes from effort, connection, and deeply understanding your partner. After the sex is over, the warm completely satisfied feeling is left for anywhere from a few hours to years.
Connecting with your Partner
Connecting with another individual requires time and effort. To truly want to satisfy your partner the relationship must be built actively developing a deeper connection through mindful time spent with them.
Unresolved pain and baggage can hinder connections. Past trauma can hinder healthy relationships. Establish the hang up and make repairs. Healing can take a lot of meditation and time, start today. Spend time with mindful people. People that lift you up. I avoid negativity and “toxic” people in my life. It has saved my energy countless times.
It takes two people. If a partner has checked out of the relationship. Start there with repairs. One cannot carry the entire relationship all the time. Some days one partner will be the better partner and vice versa. However, it cannot be the norm. Communicate what is holding you back in the relationship. I mean clearly tell them what you need. Take responsibly and apologize, if it is warranted. You cannot use work or the kids as an excuse to allow your partner to feel lonely and not well-loved. Love the people well that you choose to surround yourself with, especially those in your sex circle. The relationships and connections you make, maintain, and keep will thank you for it.
You do not need to choose boredom. Begin healing and repairing today. Please do not settle for suboptimal sex, half-assed intimacy, or nonexistent connection. You know there’s more to experience. I am sending you cuddled up and strong connection vibes.
